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Thursday, June 3, 2010
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Im beginning to regain my happiness and start over a new life. No fret darls!!!
Nway I find this site never fails to make me smile
I hate my self for
1. being the eldest sibling in the family. Sometimes the burden is to much for me to carry on my shoulder. I miss my late sister which I have never met. She died a few days after labour
2. being the overprotected child. I grow up to be a timid person now
3. choosing the wrong path in my life. I realize now Im a self- destructive person
4. being the punching bag in school. Even worst i do not have the guts to fight back. I went back home with the neverending tears falling down my cheek feeling so dumb and ashamed
5. not be able to hold on to my dreams and become what I wanted to be career-related. I hate being a teacher so to speak!
6. wanting so much to be Rebecca Bloomwood or Vivian Ward (yeah dream on loser!)
7. my super duper fat ass which I never had a clue where did they come from?
8. feeling so alone yet Im standing in a hustle bustled crowd full of strangers
9. always keep making the wrong decision which ruin my life in return
10. envying other people's happiness. Why cant I be happy?
And for all the abovementioned matter I want to apologised first and foremost to The Mighty one. I never intended to be so ungrateful. I accept my fate and destiny. I believe in the cause and effect of life.
My parents, I know I maybe the most fragile kid when I was little. Thank you to infinity for your unconditional love. I owe you my life
For my dearest siblings. Although you guys can get really ugly at times, well you make my life so colourful! Love you to bits!
My friends which Im not sure I still have thank you for the memories. Thank you for teaching me how to deal with life. I'd be lost without you.
Last but not least to dearest hubby. Thank you for your patience and for always be there whenever I needed you the most. I love you so much. May we find happiness again together. You are my one and only here and afterlife
Exactly this time of the year, three years ago I did something that I thought would do good at least to me and my family. Im not denying that there was a slight doubt at that time the decision was made. Little did I know this time of the year three years ago was the last time I ever felt happy.....
To tell you the truth, Im not really the optimistic kinda person but ironically spent almost my entire lfe trying hard to be one. Yup, I force myself to gain the confidence, to have the trust and most important thing is believing that somehow everything will turn out just fine.
Yet, I also spent almost my entire life comforting myself for the hard downfall. Of course the higher you jump, the harder you will fall and thus the excrutiating pains that keeps on coming back. Why do I have to deserve all this?
Friday, May 7, 2010
Err... mind you Im not talking about any foetus or something eheh
So what's up with school? Yes these 2, 3 weeks has been a massive disaster ( everyday of the year is more likely!) to me. You know what? I did something to a boy which my boss refer it as unprofessional. Yeah right whatever.
Tell me whats the pro bout being a teacher. I personally ( no offense to anyone) cant believe I stooped myself this low just to secure a job. I mean teachers to me has always been downgraded as time passes by. No one will remember teachers no more. We are attacked unstopable just because we somehow are just doing our job. People please I beg you just be a good parent and no one gets hurt.
Oh, nway no fret. The abovementioned boy is still alive and intact. No harm done. He's leaving the school for another different school nway starting next week. I dont care. I teach my way and if you have problems with that you can always homeschool your kids or better still you be the TEACHER yourself?
I wonder those kids yg kuat komplen kat mak pak and buruk2kan cikgu to their parent, I seriously want them to exchange places with me say for a week only. See how they turn out to be.
As for me well, I am a okay. I mean I will survive, now that Im taking Xanax
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Yes you there with funny face!
Missing you already!!!
Hubby will be away till Saturday. Job related. Sent him off to the bus this morning and now Im feeling a bit drowsy. See, Im not a morning person so hehe
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Nway, there are these two teachers in my school surprisingly I am pretty much close to them. But secretly I am a bit annoyed with them both. Knowing me or any other teachers we are gifted with a special talent to act. So I act normal, pretending I am not moved by their words or actions.
I am not yet blessed with my own baby. Can you please stop teasing me with the baby making thing? Its not funny.
I know you are still thrilled with your newborn but would you just stop sending me flashnews about him every now and then? Or make it less. It make sme sick sometimes.
Yes you got another designer handbag this month from your hubby. That makes total of them hhmmm lets see...200 already? Why tell me all these when you know I cant afford it in a million years? Dont you care about others feelings?
I am pathetic.
Hubby officially prohibit me from getting near them. Oh, did I mention that they will come to me unfailingly to purposely do their stuff? I dont have to go anywhere.
To be optimist, maybe they do not realise that they were actually hurting me inside. Maybe they just wanted to share thleir excitement. Or maybe its just me?
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Friday, April 2, 2010
Strange the laptop was missing due to the fact that this colleague of mine put it in a bag, no way a student could suspect a valuable thing like a lappy was inside. Unless...
And funny that mine was also barenakedly there and they didnt just take it. If they really wanted a lappy la kan. Clearly they were ransacking the bag. Poor her... I mean the staffroom are suppose to be a private area for teachers. This incident is far from our wildest imagination.
I do not believe that kids nowadays would go to that extent of behaviour. God, we are their teachers! To some student we know them way better than their parents do. We care about their future. And this is the way they pay their respects?
Now tell me what else could teacher do wrongs??
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
For the time being all I want to do is just lie down and listen to Mariah. Soothing to the ear down to my heart.
Anyway, on another separate note, I shock myself by making a scene in front of a bunch of important strangers (read:nazir sekolah) by bursting tears crying a river!
Well thats me of course, the drama queen.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
For instance just this evening I went to find some chiffon fabric for my sister. Went to one famous fabric store in town with a TOTAL LOWSY SERVICE !!! See one thing that I really can not tolerate is rude people. Seriously very rude. With the words coming out from her filthy mouth, with the annoying eye contact and facial expression. Errgghh... really make me want to slap her hard!
Nnway, the conversation went something like this:
Me : Kak, berapa harga semeter kain ni?
Kak biadab: ( responding while her eyes were scanning some place else) RM3.90
M: Saya nak beli 4 meter bole kurang tak kak?
KB: (with her half yelling tone and bulging eyes) Ni dah habis offer ni dik kalau tak RM4.80 tau!
Okay, part ni yang memang tak boleh blah please continue reading
M: (still trying to sound oh so nice) Ok la kak. So 4 meter berapa ringgit?
KB: Eh, awak kirelah sendiri awak kan orang muda??!!
M: (ha ni aku mmg dah tinggi suara) Aik? saya kan customer kak ??!!
Whats with the attitude? Hey, ingat aku takde duit ke nak bayar. Oh kalau kau cakap kurang ajar dengan aku takpe kan? Tapi cube kalau aku tengking anak kau yang tak pernah siapkan kerja sekolah tu boleh? Tau kau nak pi repot kat paper kan? Memang cilaka la orang jenis macam ni. Spoil mood aku betol.
Oh btw I end up buying the kain anyway. Sigh...
To those out there, doesnt matter if you are a sales person, bank officer, clerk or a toilet attendant please do not mix personal life with your profession. Do not use us as your punching bag. I heard some shit about respect, you have to earn it. Fine. But being courteous come on la...
Thursday, March 18, 2010
CSI Vegas ( who doesn't eh?)
NCIS (eh, not bad tau !)
Cant wait for these two upcoming new season. House and desperate housewives woohooo !!!!!!
kinda miss this lunatic doctor
its gonna get even juicier...
So Im pretending that school will not be opening for at least another two weeks (oh, Im so in denial!!)
Can I just be a housewife dear? (read:hubby) * batting my eyelashes very hard huhu*
Sunday, March 7, 2010
1. All items are preloved but still in good condition.
2. Item sold are not refundable or returnable.
3. Price shown includes shipping.
4. No reservation. First come first serve basis.
5. All payments are through Maybank or CIMB (account number will be given later).
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Brand: British India
Colour: Khakis grey
Price: RM 30
with slight defect on the waistline
Price: RM 15
Price: RM 15
Price: RM 15
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Butty on my wedding ( She's gonna kill me for this!)
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
It was indeed frustrating you know, not having the chance to see them grow up. Sangat envy okay, with some of my frens who got to keep their pets alive to date. My entire family especially me, my sis and my mum, we love cats so much we were crying rivers on the day they died. I mean, I didnt even cry that hard when my grandmum passed away. Hurrmmm...
I got this from some people saying why you keep pets, soon if you have kids it could cause asthma to your kids. Well good news everyone the theory is just a total myth (read:hubby) and I for one think that the whole propaganda myth about cats causing asthma was invented by a serious cat haters! Huhu
Nway really miss those time when the cat waited for us to come home....
Kiko in memory
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
And tonight they were announcing the final four contestants that made it to the finale. For those who followed this show would know that Martha won the golden ticket to the finale for free. Yes, she won the immunity and get to be the final four despite of the not so proud weight loss she's been pulling throughout the show. Oh, and did you see the smirk on her face? Shheeeshh...
Could see the obvious faces of honest disbelief among other contestants since Martha for a few consecutive weeks has always been below the yellow line. You are damn one lucky girl there babe! That kind of luck you dont get to see em everyday. One of a kind!Nway, all the best to the final four. Break a leg y'all!!
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Damn it felt so good!! Oh, seriously as Im writing this, I still can picture vividly how I was celebrating during her last day. Although it happened only in my dream but heck it was a wonderful feeling!!
Being at peace without nobody watching me, without anybody telling me that it is against the law to be as klutz as I am (oh really that is normal me) is one of the top in my wish list.
I wonder when this particular dream of mine will actually come true? Fingers crossed!!
Monday, February 22, 2010
My only niece Syahmina