If I could turn back time...

Yes, if only I could turn back time there is this one particular thing that I really really wanted to erase from my history.

Exactly this time of the year, three years ago I did something that I thought would do good at least to me and my family. Im not denying that there was a slight doubt at that time the decision was made. Little did I know this time of the year three years ago was the last time I ever felt happy.....

To tell you the truth, Im not really the optimistic kinda person but ironically spent almost my entire lfe trying hard to be one. Yup, I force myself to gain the confidence, to have the trust and most important thing is believing that somehow everything will turn out just fine.

Yet, I also spent almost my entire life comforting myself for the hard downfall. Of course the higher you jump, the harder you will fall and thus the excrutiating pains that keeps on coming back. Why do I have to deserve all this?