Sunday, May 9, 2010

I hate myself for...

Nobody is perfect yes I know. Just let me get something out of my chest okay. Coz its been bothering me since forever...

I hate my self for

1. being the eldest sibling in the family. Sometimes the burden is to much for me to carry on my shoulder. I miss my late sister which I have never met. She died a few days after labour

2. being the overprotected child. I grow up to be a timid person now

3. choosing the wrong path in my life. I realize now Im a self- destructive person

4. being the punching bag in school. Even worst i do not have the guts to fight back. I went back home with the neverending tears falling down my cheek feeling so dumb and ashamed

5. not be able to hold on to my dreams and become what I wanted to be career-related. I hate being a teacher so to speak!

6. wanting so much to be Rebecca Bloomwood or Vivian Ward (yeah dream on loser!)

7. my super duper fat ass which I never had a clue where did they come from?

8. feeling so alone yet Im standing in a hustle bustled crowd full of strangers

9. always keep making the wrong decision which ruin my life in return

10. envying other people's happiness. Why cant I be happy?

And for all the abovementioned matter I want to apologised first and foremost to The Mighty one. I never intended to be so ungrateful. I accept my fate and destiny. I believe in the cause and effect of life.

My parents, I know I maybe the most fragile kid when I was little. Thank you to infinity for your unconditional love. I owe you my life

For my dearest siblings. Although you guys can get really ugly at times, well you make my life so colourful! Love you to bits!

My friends which Im not sure I still have thank you for the memories. Thank you for teaching me how to deal with life. I'd be lost without you.

Last but not least to dearest hubby. Thank you for your patience and for always be there whenever I needed you the most. I love you so much. May we find happiness again together. You are my one and only here and afterlife

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