@ SMKTSK

finally i ended my two weeks observation in SMKTSK.how was it?hmmm let me just put it as...im still battling against my love-hate relationship with my soon to be job *sighs*

one thing i know for sure is that, i can never pull a stern face no matter how ugly they (the pupils) can get!so they are still kids, what do u expect?of coz they act a bit rebellious sometimes...didnt u??

oh, im simply a person full of compassion HAHAHA!no seriously...

tapi tak tau la kot nanti aku pun sama garang?

i mean, it never failed to give me goosebumps just to hear the swishing sound of the canning.

but the fellow teachers there were really rocks!

FRENZIED n DUMBSTRUCK

tomorrow, i'll be starting my ROS.surely my ears cant be deceiving me when the lecturer told us to do a two weeks school observation.right, that was like a piece of cake was it not?just, school observation.yup.err..the thing is, what people usually do when observing?i dun even have the slightest idea.darn, this is mad!and tomorrow is THE DAY!

my frens in the east coast would be starting today.i should ask how they are doing.okay.time for action.GOD, i dreaded this job already!

The Reason

some times ago, a gorgeous butty of mine, had posed me a question as to know why is my blog sounds so solemn?and one thoughtful friend apparently been concerned of why hasnt anybody drop any comments in my blog.why???i dunno.it is quite a boring blog is it?so im not a good writer!

well, with all due respects my dear fellow friends, i never had any intention of seeking fame or whatsoever thru my blogging.i even dont give a damn if no one has ever read or accidentally crossed upon my blog.the reason i blog is for..for...errr nothing.i am truly madly dorky!!HAHAHA!!

Friend or Foe

A week before my semester break, me with my other KPLI mates attended a 4D 3N camping at this one sceneric manmade lake.The lake was true blue, just like the name, Tasik Biru.Cantik!

At first, I was so eager to go n involved in every activities scheduled for us.Yeah, of course it turned up pretty well.I mean, I never had a clue I can swim, n kayaking was so much fun!!The half day fatally walking expedition did leave a mark on my face, which my family it hard to recognise me once im back due to the 'evenly tonne of sunburn' heheh...

Well, one thing I learn about teamwork during this programme is, age apparently does not go parallel with maturity and sensibility.Get it?The older u get does not guaranteed the wiser u will become.I never should have chose that old hag as my team leader for her seniority.Next time I should opt for myself instead.Not that Im any better, but...u know...kind of :D.

Another thing a person will learn in courses like above-mentioned, is about integration n team spirit.Either u make new friends n happily moving on with ur life or u create a bunch of hideous people turn against u, n still struggling to move on with ur life.Life is all about choosing.In my case, well, may be in thate particular term I was talking about, I admit to not have achieved the objective.Heck, I wasnt even close to the objective, due to that horrible obnoxious cow some reasons I need not have to blog it here, or else, I could be the subject of loathing for the rest of my year there!

All in all, it was definitely a memorable experience I'll cherish.I may be failed to construct a good relationship with other units (I did try damn it,oh dont even get me started!), but in terms of fear-conquering n building self-esteem I passed with FLYING COLOURS!!

oh, i just love school holidays!!!

me and my half-wit siblings went to catch a movie last few days.it was nanny mcphee.nice one i must say.instilled some good lessons especially for kids.as for me, having to watch colin firth n a happy ending is more than enuff hehe...

on another note, ive juz realize i had long missed my fav pastime.reading.i even lost track of whats the latest and bestsellers in store.so, strolling around MPH provided that im gila-gila broke, i only manage to get this one.a pocket penguin number 7.well, that explains the minimal and affordable price, heh!not the latest on bookshop shelves tho, but it certainly does in my list.enjoyed it much!

MISS MATCH n THE ONE WITH THE BRAIN

A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO, THAT WAS, A FEW MONTHS AFTER MY LAST BREAK UP TO BE PRECISE, I HAD THIS HORRIBLE IMAGINATION OF ENDING UP MY LIFE AS A PATHETIC SPINSTER LIVING WITH FORTY CATS AND SPENDING THE REST OF MY LIFE REGRETTING THE THINGS I SHOULD OR SHOULDN'T SAID OR DONE IN THE PAST.IN OTHER WORDS, I WAS TERRIFIED OF NOT HAVING ANYBODY BY MY SIDE WHENEVER I NEED ONE.AND FOR THAT REASON, I HAD MY FRIENDS RUNNING AROUND HERE AND THERE, PANICKEDLY SEARCHING FOR A SINGLE GUY AS A REPLACEMENT FOR MY PRIOR LOST.SEE, THAT WAS THE MOST ULTIMATE FOOL OF ME.HOW CAN I BE THAT DESPERATE??SHEEEESHHH.....

BUT NOW...THINGS DID CHANGE QUITE DRASTICALLY.I MEAN, NOW, I CAN ACTUALLY LIVE MY LIFE WITHOUT DEPENDING ON OTHERS.I MUST SAY, IM VERY PROUD OF HOW I CARRY MYSELF NOWADAYS!I REALLY CAN STAND TALL ON MY OWN CUTE LIL FEET!!AND IT WAS THIS TIME AROUND WHEN I THOUGHT EVERYTHING IS PERFECTLY A OKAY, SOMETHING UNEXPECTED CAME IN THE PICTURE.ALL OF A SUDDEN, AS IF EVERYBODY WANTED TO MATCHMAKE ME WITH THEIR SINGLE RELATIVES OR ACQUAINTANCES FROM ALL SORTS...UNBELIVABLE BUT TRUE, EVEN A PAKCIK SEATED NEXT TO ME ON A BUS WANTED TO INTRODUCED ME TO HIS NIECE!WHAT'S GOING ON HERE???I, IN RETURN AS SILLY AS I CAN GET, GOT REALLY, REALLY FREAKED OUT I DONT WHY THE HECK I REACTED AS SUCH!WELL, AS I WAS SAYING, I NEVER EVER EXPECTED SOMETHING LIKE THIS WOULD HAPPEN, NOW THAT I ACTUALLY CLOSE MY HEART TO ANY SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP AND CONCENTRATE ONLY ON MY PROGRAMME...

RIGHT, SO I GOT FREAKED OUT...I MEAN, REMIND ME AGAIN WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO??ITS NOT LIKE I DO NOT APPRECIATED WHAT MY DEAR FRIENDS HAD DONE FOR ME...NO, NOO...THEY ARE JUZ SO SWEEEET N I THANK THEM FOR THEIR CONCERN.BUT REALLY,I KNOW I WAS SUPPOSED TO GET EXCITED, WAS I??THERE IS SOMEBODY OUT THERE WHO STILL FIND ME ATTRACTIVE, IS THERE??WHAT WAS I THINKING....

ONCE, I REMEMBER ANSWERING A QUESTION FROM A CLOSE FRIEND OF MINE.AND I TOLD HER, ALL I WANT IN A GUY IS INTELLECTUALITY.THE SAVANT.NUFF SAID.THAT EXPLAINS IT ALL DOESNT IT?THAT COULDNT BE TOO CRUEL OR TOO MUCH TO ASK RIGHT?RIGHT??

COME TO THINK OF ALL MY STUPID FREAKISH MOMENT, I JUZ CANT HELP MYSELF BUT TO WONDER WHO AM I WAITING FOR IN THIS SHORT BORROWED LIFE?PERHAPS SOMEONE WHOM I LONG KNEW WOULDNT BE MINE FOREVER????

INFERIORITY COMPLEX

early this year, i was among the few thousand people who felt very lucky to be selected into this programme. happy, excited and proud of myself.little did i know after about two months of enrollment, fast track lecture and the fatal assignments, the feeling of happiness would somehow slowly fading away and turns into a terrible mixture of feelings i failed to put into a simple phrase.

REALITY CHECK!!did i actually had a second thought of being here?did i really really wanted to be here?and more important is, am i the right person to be here???what have i done??oh my God, what was i thinking??!!i cant be a teacher.i cant be that straight!i cant even open my mouth and throw a single beneficial sentence!how am i, a half demented lunatic able to educate students???my presentations were horrible!my english is the worst!i am making a total fool out of myself!ohhhh, suddenly i miss my previous job.i miss being yelled by my ugly boss...or at least i miss being a DE!

idiot me.how could i let myself being jeopardise!im so screwed!!

what must i do??quit???

A Tale of Two Sisters

last few weeks, i had a fight with my kid sister.A BIG FIGHT.as far as i concerned it never occured to either of us that one day we will involved in such horrific event.i mean, she is the one and only sister ive ever had, and apparently the bestest fren of all my best frens(girls, no offend ok!)...serius...

if there was someone to be blamed for this to happened, that would be me...i shouldnt have yelled and threwnasty words at her.i admit to have been in a very disturbed emotion at that time.of course i feel terrible for upsetting her.and what worse i made her cry.u see, she's known for her stubbornity and fierce , so for her to cry would be over something that was very pain and hurtful!!

i am truly, truly regret for all the things i did, and u have know idea how much i needed a time traveller in my hand and take back all those things i have said.so from now on, i vow to not making any more complaints whatsoever about her.

i love her just the way she is.i love everything about her, be it the best and the worst.i love her for her stubbornness.i love her bossy and fussy attitude.i love taking orders from her.i love cooking and washing undergarments for her.i love her for her laziness.i love it when we do silly and stupid stuffs.i love it when we hum the same tune even by heart as well as shouting the same phrase so every often.

i love her so very much that i agree not to get married if by doing so it would keep the distance off our relationship, if it makes things so awkward afterward.that is how much i love her!

but now, things are back to normal, thank God.hope it would be the first and last genocide we've ever created over something really really stupid!