my bestfriend’s wedding

Monday, January 30th, 2006

I love attending wedding receptions. Everybody looks happy, everybody looks pretty. Yesterday, my bestfriend Shima, got married to the luckiest man alive…. She of course, the prettiest of them all. I dunno why, but I think I love looking at brides. They look so glowing n flawless… if u ask me, I’d like to be as pretty as a bride!!Shima n hubby chose pink as their theme colour.Cute sangat!!"Pink is my favourite colour…Pink is the colour of passion" -Pink, Aerosmith eheheh…

So she’s married…I felt very happy for her, I really do…But no matter how hard I tried to convince her, she can see the sadness in my eyes…maybe laa…Ade lah sedih sikit.. Mana taknye…she’s the only friend I have remain in Kluang…and now she’s leaving…I will be left alone for the umphteenth times I dunno…I hate feeling this way..Feeling left out and unimportant anymore…Surely, things will never be the same again after this…She has her own things to priorities now…

As for me??Oh well, as they say, life must go on…I have to move on no matter who got married right?It’s all written anyway, things happen for a reason…My time will come sooner or later..I’ll just have to wait for the ugly frog prince to appear..Or is it the other way round…hmmmm??

To shima and hubby, I wish them endless happiness n bright future ahead of them.My prayers will always be with u.Till death do them both apart.AMIN.

military school

For the 1st time in 25 year, i feel ALIVE!!Yes, i feel lucky to be alive n breath n set my foot on this precious universe.Thing is, I've just finished my orientation week in MPPM.I've never been in any orientation week in my whole life so, this thing is kinda shocking for me.How was the week like, i really do not feel necessary to elaborate'em here.One thing describable is i felt like one tortured recruit in a military school.It was super HORRIBLE!From the moment the programme started i despise that place already!

But now...im proud of myself for going thru the week n not turning into a total lunatic hehe...In fact im starting to like the place...The lecturers, the students the creepy environment...Mind u im staying at a used-to-be-a-British-collonial-hospital-turn-hostel, so go figure!!

I hope this year brings a new whole perspective in my life n id like to be more optimistic n responsible.I cant believe im going to be a teacher!!

Life Suck

I mentioned about what a good start for a new year in my previous entry. Well, apparently things didnt turn that well for me :(.

Life is unfair!Pardon me, but not wanting to sound ungrateful I only telling the truth.Really, looking back at my past time I must say if life is evaluated with a grade I failed.U got what I mean?No??

*Sigh*

I hate my life. Im currently doing the most least things I'do for a living. Added to that I am allocated at a school with dull people. Oh, how I hated the people there and the environment.I can not be living with those people who arent fun at all!! I can die slowly you know?Trust me I'd rather be a fulltime homemeker than staying here (Please sayang?!) and feeling depressed every minute. Hah! I'm so deprresed I drop 2kg in 2 weeks.That is something. Something not healthy.Mana taknye? I can barely eat n hardly sleep nowadays...

Yes, the school is only a couple of minutes from home. But the thing is, I used to think I'll be the happiest person in the world had I got a job here. I proved myself wrong.Way wrong!I got myself even in a very deep depression at my own place.A place I longed for all this while.Why? God only knows. I dunno. Why is life treating me like this?

Luckily I still have my Sayang around. Yup, he soothes my heart everytime.I am very glad that God send him to me.Bring him to my life. But he is far away that is the problem. I hope we can see each other every other day soon right Sayang?very soon.Oh, I cant wait for that day to come!

Till then, all I can do is to pray hard and try hard to cope with the situation. I dunno how long must I suffer.May God keep me strong!